10 Jul
2010
My scant 31 years on this planet has taught me that any unexpected knock at the front door on a Saturday morning is from somebody I'm not at all interested in seeing. Take, for instance, the teenager who just showed up at my front door a few minutes ago peddling subscriptions to the local paper. I knew before he finished knocking that I was going to be pitched on some super sweet deal on something when I opened the door.
Let me begin by saying that I'm not, generally, a huge dick to people for no reason. That said, I'm do go out of my way to be noticeably curt with people who come to my door trying to sell me things because I don't want there to be any chance of them mistaking my being friendly for my being interested in the crap they want me to buy. Most of the time, I'm able to end these encounters in less than a minute by firmly and repeatedly informing the person on my stoop that, no, I don't want any and to kindly enjoy the rest of their day.
Now then; here's a slightly paraphrased recap of the conversation that took place at my front door only moments ago:
Kid: *knocks at door*
Me: *opens door* "Hi."
Kid: "Good morning sir - how's, uh, how's your morning going?"
Me: "Fine."
Kid: "Well that's good, I'm here to talk to you today about the newspaper - the Orange County Register - maybe you've heard of it"
Me: "Yes, I've heard of it - but we're all set, thanks for stopping by."
Kid: "You're all set with the newspaper? What paper do you get?"
Me: "We don't read the newspaper."
Kid: "Oh, so you don't like being informed?"
[This is the point where, if the kid had even the slightest chance of making the sale, it was gone and I was a little miffed.]
Me: "Have a nice day." *closes door*
I could tell by the way the kid said it that he didn't really mean to sound like a condescending prick, but that's exactly how he did sound.
I realize that there's no point to me telling this story, but I thought it was funny.